Founded in 2010, Kim’s Grocery and Carryout has provided Oberlin students, staff, and community members with access to East Asian groceries. There are a bunch of frozen foods, seasonings, drinks, and ready-to-eat entrees of hot pot that remind Asian people of their nostalgic tastes. As the only Asian food market in this small town, Kim’s house functions not only as the place to buy items but also as the third place to some customers. By featuring the story of both the owners and the regulars, I would like to shed light on the cultural and sociological significance of Kim’s Grocery and Carryout.
Eat! Drink! Share! Listen! Transcript!
Kana
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Eat! Drink! Share! Listen! Podcast! This is hosted by Kana Sakamoto, a first-year sociology major. Oberlin College StudiOC shed light on the sociological and cultural meaning of food that sustains our society, community, and life this semester.
In today’s episode, I want to start with some questions. Do you have a favorite restaurant, café, or store? It can be anything, such as the coffee shop next to your house, or the eatery you visit for your birthday party. Then, how often do you go to these places? What do you feel when you’re there? In short, why do these places give you comfort and energy?
Many of you might notice that these places are not just for getting food to survive, but also for socializing with other people, taking a break from your usual duties, or escaping from the norms of the general public. We call these places that have a special meaning for some people the “third place.”
According to Ray Oldenburg, some characteristics of the third place are as follows,
- It is inclusive, and everyone is treated as equal.
- There are no hosts, so it is completely neutral ground.
- The main activity of this place is unplanned conversation without any purpose.
- It is a playful mode, putting emphasis on joy and acceptance.
- It often looks unimpressive.
As an international student from Japan, one of my most comfortable places in Oberlin, or my third place, is Kim’s Grocery and Carryout on Eric Nord Way. I love it because they have a variety of frozen foods, seasonings, snacks, and ready-to-eat entrees of hot bowls. When I feel tired of the dishes in the campus dining or want to reward myself, I go to Kim’s to have bibimbap and Asian snacks.
I expected that Kim’s house, which is the sole provider of East Asian groceries to people in Oberlin, must have sociological significance. So, I delved deeper into its function as a place by featuring the story of both the owner and the regular customer, as well as applying several concepts from sociology.
Oldenburg stated that the regulars are important components of the place as they give it its character. In his definition, the regulars are those who feel at home in a place and set the tone of friendliness. Ryo is a Writing Associates Program Fellow at Oberlin College who has lived in this town for five years. She often cooks Japanese dishes on her own and goes to Kim’s. She shared the story of an encounter of the Kim’s, her memories there, and the significance of its place to her.
Ryo
I think I was introduced to Kim’s during international orientation when my international peer mentor brought us around town, gave a tour, and then took us to Kim’s. Some weeks I go like twice, and sometimes I don’t go as much. I think on average, two to three times per month. If I’m going with friends, I just get warm food. But then if I’m going to get groceries, I like to get a lot of them, like noodles in their refrigerator.
Kana
Her initial visit to Kim’s was facilitated by some earlier regulars. In Oldenburg’s opinion, those who are backed up by regulars have less difficulty becoming a part of the group. So that reference would have helped her to make Kim’s more approachable, given its off-street location and her unfamiliarity with the town.
Next, I asked her why she preferred physical stores to online stores. Her answer was that she can gain a lot of inspiration for cooking from seeing things, support the business of the owner, and enjoy interacting with her.
Ryo
Back in, I think, 2020, actually during Covid, because Oberlin was sort of trying to support local businesses. And that’s how I met Mrs.Kim. And we started talking. So now, like whenever I go in, we kind of have a conversation, but I think it was like a year or two ago when she found out that I speak Japanese and Mrs.Kim speaks fluent Japanese. So she just went into this whole rant about the rice price going up in Japanese. And I think that was a moment where we found real connection through a language that not other people around us were talking. And I think that really helped. And so now we kind of have a lot of small talk in a mixture of Japanese and English, and that’s really fun.
Kana
This is also aligned with Oldenburg’s idea that conversation is the most basic action in the third place, but I was interested in the fact that Ryo and Mrs.Kim engaged in conversation for a couple of years without knowing they can speak the same language. This shows us a process to build deeper connections in the third place that starts with a series of short conversations, gradually discovers the major things in common, and finally shares special topics in a language that is special to each other.
For my last question, “what does Kim’s Grocery and Carryout mean to you?” Ryo described the practical value of having the third place, which was not specifically mentioned by Oldenburg.
Ryo
I do have one story related to that. During Covid, in 2020, a lot of local businesses and restaurants were struggling, obviously because people were gone. I think that was when some alumni wanted to donate to Kim’s, and Mrs. Kim said she didn’t just wanna get money but she wanted people to actually eat her food there. So what happened was some alumni donated to Kim’s, so that students who were still in town could get free Kim’s on certain days. And that really showed me even people who have left Oberlin, you know, it’s been a while since they’ve been actually physically here, still thought a lot about Kim’s and cared about the store and really want to support them.
Kana
I thought that it couldn’t have happened without a deep bond fostered through conversation at the store, and this drama of overcoming a challenge for society is enough to consider that the third place is an essential social resource that enhances public mental health.
So, the next question I must ponder is “Who set up this wonderful place?” I had the opportunity to talk to the owner of the Kim’s Grocery and Carryout, Mrs Kim. She opened her second store in Oberlin in 2010 after she was repeatedly asked by past Oberlin students. Ever since then, she had built deep relationships with the customers, and she shared one heart-warming story with me.
Mrs.Kim
Last year they (the group of Chinese students) always ordered the same food, so I was in the kitchen. Somebody ordered a spare rib soup and extra spicy. Wait a minute, I know this person. Because, one Chinese girl, she always orders like that. She graduated, they left, they went to New York because they had her boyfriend, her friends, One time I was at the kitchen. Somebody wrote down a ticket. It’s like a spare soup and an extra soup and spice extra.
Wait a minute. I know this person. So I was like how I fix it. And I then, then my worker served. Then after then I went over there, the table. I looked at her. There was her. She came to me. She was in tears. She was so glad to see me and she gave it to me. Big hug, and she was the tears out. I was like, oh my God. Those are the kind of relationships we had. Most of them, like a graduation time, a lot of people coming to town. The first place they stop by is here.
Kana
I was surprised to hear that because “the place you visit first when you come back to Oberlin” was the exact definition that Professor Greggor Mattson used to explain the third place. In daily life, people also feel relaxed in the “third space,” which is an abstract and free space for everyone, such as libraries, church, and community space. However, a place filled with concrete personal memories and human connections is deeply ingrained as a stage of one’s life.
I was curious about the beliefs behind this store that can have such a warm impact on someone’s life. Mrs.Kim answered that the most important thing for her was not to gain economic profits but to ensure the comfort of her customers.
Mrs.Kim
Now, I’ve been settled down here for like 12 years. I think we have enough crowd, enough people, so I’m not really looking for that because, before a lot of people, a couple of people came to offer me, “you can do this, bring more business, you can do it.” I was excited about that, but actually now we have regular customers, almost 85%. So once we open the store people always line up. Also I just turned 68, I am working 85 hours and I don’t think I can work any more than I am working over already. If I have more business, more customers, I get stressed. I feel more comfortable now. I feel it’s so interesting. We can serve a customer better. Maybe you are tired and then you get angry. You cannot give the customer the (good) service
Kana
Also, when I asked her the meaning of Kim’s Grocery and Carryout for her, she answered as follows.
Mrs.Kim
It’s like, this place is like my baby. First thing, I’m here like seven o’clock every morning and as soon as I (start) working, I’m talking to my baby. I walk around, I suck around, everything’s okay. Normally I’m working like seven o’clock to maybe two to three o’clock. By that time, I already worked like ten hours. So the first morning, like seven o’clock, I’m always here. Sometimes I feel really proud of myself because I can be able to serve my kids.
Sometimes in an open kitchen and I’m cooking for a person. Maybe a new customer coming, (and) they sit down on the table eating. I’m always looking at their faces. I always look like this, look at their faces. So sometimes like when they taste it, the first time they say, (face of exclamation) You know this, I wanna see that. That’s why I really enjoy what I’m doing. I don’t know how long I can do this, but I just passed 12 years. So I’m gonna try my best. Yeah, I’m gonna try really hard.
Kana
These two answers reminded me of the book, “Ingredients for Revolution” which discussed feminist restaurants, cafes, and coffeehouses. Challenging patriarchal capitalism, feminist restaurants prioritized the value of creating a woman-centered space and were a part of a larger conversation about how to live and live out one’s values within a capitalist society. I was very impressed by Mrs.Kim’s way of life of doing the best for her customers within her capacity and dedicating her to maintaining the third place.
As I talked with Mrs.Kim, I felt the gratitude of having her and this incredible third place in Oberlin. But, I was concerned about an extremely big responsibility on those who manage the place. I think it is important to think about how to allocate the burden to ensure the sustainability of the place. So, I think a third place for managers is also needed.
Furthermore, there are few stores in this town that cater to people with a particular identity. For example, compared to its number of students, there are not so many Indian or Southeast Asian food markets and restaurants in Oberlin. It may be valuable for society to create and support a system where more people are willing to manage and open the place for someone else.
Today, I have been digging deeper into the function of Kim’s Grocery and Carryout as the third place. Please try to find how your favorite place is serving the public. If you want to learn more about our works, please visit E!D!S!L! Website, where you’ll find a variety of recipes, columns, and feature essays written by our Obies! This podcast was hosted by Kana Sakamoto. Thank you so much for listening!
Kana Sakamoto is a first-year student at Oberlin College studying as a Sociology Major. Her childhood memories of enjoying local cuisines throughout Japan and the world, as well as a four-month farming internship during gap term, have driven her into the connection between society, life, and food. Kana loves fried horse mackerel, consommé soup, and udon, all of which she is struggling to find in a small town in Ohio. Kana’s personal blog (in Japanese) can be found here: https://note.com/ka________7
